ah. okay. so nothing went as planned and he ignored what i said! literally might kill myself. i dont wanna be in a relationship with him, i just fucked EVERYTHING up. to the point where i cant touch him without crying. why? im scared. i guess. idfk at this point. i just miss him. i miss smiling at him, i miss hugging him i miss holding hands with him i miss ruffling his hair i miss messaging him all the time. but i know he doesnt miss me (he might but he probably doesnt)
I NEED ADVICE FUCKKKKK
i talked to my friends again, cant remember if i mentioned it last entry and im so tired i cant be arsed to check, anyways. he told me i should wait because he probably isnt ready to talk about it. the issue? i have no paitience, like at all. i was counting the hours he took to respond. but i wasnt upset at him. i was more upset at myself because he doesnt like me! he never will! but i wish he did! putting this all here, all public n shit so anyone can see? it makes me feel better. and its good i told him! because i know based off his response i can get over him faster. i cant help but think that he might still maybe if theres a god, like me (i am delusional)
going to shoot myself it all deleted what the fuck i wrote like 10 paragraphs im crying
I HATE THIS THING GO FUCK YOURSE:F
i wrote about wanting to be a poet and meeting my aunts (lesbians) baby. the baby isnt the lesban btw they are
also like half the dye came outta my hair and i am so very angry i want to cry (i did cry like incredibly hard) and for some reason i hate everything about the way i look now, when yesterday i was swooning over myself and thought i was the hottest mother fucker to grace earth. its cuz i showered i beame ugly :(((((( that is a lie btw. i also cut my hair n it looks so baddddd.
only thing i watched recently was movie sins too. and fucking wendy goofy guy
anyways bye i got paranoid im being watched and im gonna go hide in the bathroom
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